How to turn a shitty board into a slightly less shitty board (using many complicated steps): 1

1. take old board that is ridiculous and strip the fiberglass (razor blade, chisel, hammer-- it doesn't matter). bore/carve/cut old fin boxes/leash-plug.

2. you'll end up with a specimen like this-------->

3. gorilla glue+scrap polyurethane-foam and jam it into any areas that need to be plugged/jammed (btw, she probably never said that).

                                                     

4. gorilla glue...

5. dry wall putty = good ...

6. come up with a board design-- i want this turd to look like the t.patterson "rising sun" and lost's "rocket" for good measure (6' x 20" wide).

7. cut shit with a saw--- i recommend a delightful japanese pull saw.

8. take a break. u deserve it.

9. do some arbitrary calculations that won't help you in the long run (i recommend the use of proportions and somehow using pythagorean theorem i am sure quadratic equation could do something as well, fuck, the mathematical world is at your disposal in order to make shitty surfboards)...

10. cut more stuff, and begin sanding stuff and making sure the stringer's planed, etc. fyi: wrap sandpaper around clothes/underwear. get the bottom contours going. bonus with clothes is you can wear them.

11. this= kinda single concave starting about 1-1.5' off nose blending to slight V off the tail.

12.think about how cool you are. eat something.

13. look at things.

14. do the rails (hold sandpaper with both hands. i have to hold camera give me a break. jesus.). ps. you may want to read some stuff about doing the rails. theyre hard.

15. do more sanding somewhere that needs to be sanded

16. bam its/you're almost done.

17. NEXT TIME...  more sanding... 

                            ....more cutting (spoiler alert: i will cut some shit off the tail (spoiler alert: about 2 inches) and you should too.)

                             .... router for fin boxes (Future's get routered before glass, if FCS then after)...

                             ....maybe some drawing, maybe not.....

                             ......fiberglass.....

stay tuned if your as excited as i am.

How to turn a shitty board into a slightly less shitty board (using many complicated steps): 2

alright its been a while. i've been doing a lot of soul-searching... Lets make shitty surfboards together!
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1. brainstorm things
2. draw things on the foam...

3. if using future fins then router out foam for fin boxes....actually this should probably be step 2...

4. Tape the perimeter of the deck (~2 in from the rails).
5 make your board look as professional as possible.

6. a) grab some fiber glass (im using 4oz 's' cloth)...roll it over the bottom/base of the board leaving a few inches hanging over the rails/nose/tail of the board. this is the 'lap'.

b) cut slits in glass at the nose and tail (wherever there will be folds) so that it doesn't get all messed up. make sense?

c) ur done with the fiber glass for now. roll it off the area for fin boxes... so u can work... dont let glass touch resin unintentionally or your fucked. make sense?

5. a) pour few ounces of resin into a cup w/o catalyst. want to know why the 70's were retarded? inhale.

b) pour about 2.4 cc of MEKP catalyst (~36 drops) and stir. if its hot outside then use less catalyst. if cold=more. there are charts you should consult if u want a less questionable shitty board.

Catalyst---------------->

c) pour a bit of the catalyzed resin in routered out foam where the fin boxes will go. i recommend using a genie-lamp.

d) place the "future" fin boxes in the board

f) wait....actually this should have been done a while ago...put tape over the fin box's opening/"vagina" where the fins go in. that way resin doesn't get in...thats ridiculous... you know what i am sayin'? watch this video if u dont.



6.  a) heres what u need to start glassing.

 b) roll the fiber glass that was cut earlier over entire base of board.

c)  pour about a quart of resin into a container. double check things.

d) pour ~8cc of catalyst in resin and stir

e) pour the catalyzed resin on top of the fiberglass thats on the bottom of ur board... pour along the stringer like so ------------------------->

 f) use squeegee and move resin away from stringer...eventually covering all the glass with resin.........

g)squeegee at 45 degree angles (whatever that means...) from the stringer...use lots of pressure (u should hear a "zipping" sound as squeegee runs over the surface.... excess resin is bad.

h) allow resin to drip down the "lap"/excess fiberglass that is hanging over the rails-- u want it to be saturated so you can fold it over the rail and onto the deck. makes sense?

i) wrap the lap/excess fiberglass around rail and onto deck using squeegee---a portion of it should overlay the tape on the deck.

------------------------
Stay TUNED!!! Part THREE COMING SOON!!!!! 
WHAT will the board look like? STAY tuned!!!
Next time we: 
-Laminate the deck.
-Screw up the fin boxes.
-Hot Coat the deck
-FOrget to add wax to hot coat!
-screw up sanding because no wax on hot coat
-put in leash plug.
-color.

How to turn a shitty board into a slightly less shitty board (using many complicated steps): 1

1. take old board that is ridiculous and strip the fiberglass (razor blade, chisel, hammer-- it doesn't matter). bore/carve/cut old fin boxes/leash-plug.

2. you'll end up with a specimen like this-------->
3. gorilla glue+scrap polyurethane-foam and jam it into any areas that need to be plugged/jammed (btw, she probably never said that).
                                                     

4. gorilla glue...

5. dry wall putty = good ...

6. come up with a board design-- i want this turd to look like the t.patterson "rising sun" and lost's "rocket" for good measure (6' x 20" wide).

7. cut shit with a saw--- i recommend a delightful japanese pull saw.

8. take a break. u deserve it.

9. do some arbitrary calculations that won't help you in the long run (i recommend the use of proportions and somehow using pythagorean theorem i am sure quadratic equation could do something as well, fuck, the mathematical world is at your disposal in order to make shitty surfboards)...

10. cut more stuff, and begin sanding stuff and making sure the stringer's planed, etc. fyi: wrap sandpaper around clothes/underwear. get the bottom contours going. bonus with clothes is you can wear them.

11. this= kinda single concave starting about 1-1.5' off nose blending to slight V off the tail.

12.think about how cool you are. eat something.

13. look at things.

14. do the rails (hold sandpaper with both hands. i have to hold camera give me a break. jesus.). ps. you may want to read some stuff about doing the rails. theyre hard.
15. do more sanding somewhere that needs to be sanded

16. bam its/you're almost done.
17. NEXT TIME...  more sanding... 

                            ....more cutting (spoiler alert: i will cut some shit off the tail (spoiler alert: about 2 inches) and you should too.)

                             .... router for fin boxes (Future's get routered before glass, if FCS then after)...

                             ....maybe some drawing, maybe not.....

                             ......fiberglass.....

stay tuned if your as excited as i am.