3/18/11

How to turn a shitty board into a slightly less shitty board (using many complicated steps): 1

1. take old board that is ridiculous and strip the fiberglass (razor blade, chisel, hammer-- it doesn't matter). bore/carve/cut old fin boxes/leash-plug.
2. you'll end up with a specimen like this-------->
3. gorilla glue+scrap polyurethane-foam and jam it into any areas that need to be plugged/jammed (btw, she probably never said that).
                                                     
4. gorilla glue...

5. dry wall putty = good ...
6. come up with a board design-- i want this turd to look like the t.patterson "rising sun" and lost's "rocket" for good measure (6' x 20" wide).
7. cut shit with a saw--- i recommend a delightful japanese pull saw.
8. take a break. u deserve it.
9. do some arbitrary calculations that won't help you in the long run (i recommend the use of proportions and somehow using pythagorean theorem i am sure quadratic equation could do something as well, fuck, the mathematical world is at your disposal in order to make shitty surfboards)...
10. cut more stuff, and begin sanding stuff and making sure the stringer's planed, etc. fyi: wrap sandpaper around clothes/underwear. get the bottom contours going. bonus with clothes is you can wear them.
11. this= kinda single concave starting about 1-1.5' off nose blending to slight V off the tail.
12.think about how cool you are. eat something.
13. look at things.
14. do the rails (hold sandpaper with both hands. i have to hold camera give me a break. jesus.). ps. you may want to read some stuff about doing the rails. theyre hard.
15. do more sanding somewhere that needs to be sanded
16. bam its/you're almost done.
17. NEXT TIME...  more sanding... 
                            ....more cutting (spoiler alert: i will cut some shit off the tail (spoiler alert: about 2 inches) and you should too.)
                             .... router for fin boxes (Future's get routered before glass, if FCS then after)...
                             ....maybe some drawing, maybe not.....
                             ......fiberglass.....
stay tuned if your as excited as i am.

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